Spring Forward or Fall Behind
The changing of the clocks is our ongoing reminder of the two choices we can make in life. We can either:
Sometimes, to spring forward, we need to say goodbye to people, places or situations. Saying goodbye can be particularly difficult for recovering addicts, as well as the offspring of any dysfunctional family. Some examples that we've witnessed that typify problems saying goodbye:
The topic of saying goodbye brings to mind the lyrics of the popular song by the Jackson Five, "I Never Can Say Goodbye, No No No!"
"Every time I think I've had enough and start heading for the door / There's a very strange vibration piercing me right to the core / It says turn around you fool, you know you love her more and more...We all have to contend with varieties of anxiety, but one that we ALL experience is separation anxiety. All of early infancy is about separation anxiety. Each time we say goodbye to a person, place or situation, our separation anxiety kicks in.
Alcoholics and other addicts often grew up with mixed messages about separation, dependence and independence. Every recovering addict has their own story regarding convoluted and confusing rules about separation and independence in their family of origin. Every person in recovery also has learned a repertoire of dysfunctional and self-defeating tools for contending with separation anxiety.
We can all think of many instances where it's painful to say goodbye, and when we are caught in the dilemma from the Jackson 5 song: can't do with you or without. The problem is that if we get caught up returning to or thinking about the people, places and things in our pasts, we cannot grow. We cannot spring forward.
Read on to learn how to effectively say goodbye to the person or thing that you believe is holding you back from achieving your full potential.
RECOMMENDED READING FROM THE PSYSTORE:
Play to Win!: Choosing Growth over Fear in Work and Life
by Larry Wilson, Hersch Wilson
Our Price: $19.96
"Packed with time-tested techniques and real-life case studies, this work and life field guide is based on the famous training program of the same name that has helped 250,000 participants in hundreds of major corporations learn how to succeed in today's tough business environment." -- Book Description
For a selection of books on this topic, visit the Psystore.