What is a Spiritual IQ? by Mark Sichel, LCSW All of us are familiar with conventional notions and measurements of intelligence. The IQ, as we know it, is a measure of intellectual capacity. However, people with high IQs are often not as well developed emotionally and spiritually as they are in their intellectual abilities. Daniel Goleman introduced this concept in his wonderful book, "Emotional Intelligence." Essentially, high emotional intelligence involves being able to understand others, empathize with others and accurately perceive and connect with other human beings. Goleman maintains that a person's EQ, or "Emotional Quotient," is a better predictor of future success than a person's IQ, or "Intelligence Quotient." In my experience, a high SQ or "Spiritual Quotient" is the best predictor of happiness, serenity, good self-esteem and harmonious and loving relationships. People who know how to translate life's problems and struggles into spiritual issues can often find more gratifying and rewarding solutions to these problems through their spiritual IQs. Can a person learn how to become more spiritual? Can they develop and "raise" their Spiritual IQ? You BET they can. We have scores of opportunities and mentors available for helping our spiritual development. I've never seen anyone who has immersed themselves in a quest for higher spiritual intelligence come out with anything other than greater serenity, better self-esteem and increased satisfaction with themselves and their world. Often the most bitter, defeated people we know are those with low spiritual IQs. A client of mine comes from a well-to-do family who claim to be very devout Christians. This man is gay and very happily involved in a loving relationship with another man. His religious parents are totally unaccepting of him as a gay man and of his relationship with his partner. They bombard him with negativity and ongoing quotes from the Holy Scriptures meant to defeat, deflate and demoralize him. My client, let's call him Roy*, may not be an active Church attendee, but he has worked hard on developing his Spiritual IQ. He's learned not to respond to his family, for a response breeds greater unhappiness and despair for himself, as well as his family. In his spiritual development, he's learned to "detach with love" when his family's negativity threatens his serenity. He is grateful for many things, appreciative of the good he received in his family of origin and unwilling to engage with his family in a battle which can't be won on either side. To find out more about what spirituality is, read What IS Spirituality?. To hear the story of a woman who considers herself very spiritual, but does not subscribe to the tenets of a particular religion, read Ill at Ease in the House of God. *The names of all clients have been changed to protect their identities.                    RECOMMENDED READING FROM THE PSYSTORE: Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide by Jeanne Segal Our Price: $11.96 "A veteran psychologist presents exercises, self-tests, case studies, and easy-to-follow instructions designed to improve understanding of emotions and maximize emotional resources." -- Synopsis For a selection of books on this topic, visit the Psystore. ** All prices subject to change without notice