Courtship Memory and Mind Expanders

by Pat Catalano

Are you ready to do a little thinking back to those wonderful, romantic times in your past? Because it's time to bring the past into the present! You know how to be romantic! You just may need a little help in remembering all the wonderful things you did to delight your partner! And when you see the beautiful eyes of the person you fell in love with light up, you'll know it's all been worth it.

  1. Do you remember your first meeting? Your first date? How about that first kiss? Surprise her with a recreation of a "first." Dine at the first restaurant. Rent the first movie. Speak of the first sight of your partner and when you knew you'd found "the one." Just thinking about your "firsts" can't help but bring a dazzling smile to both your faces!

  2. Birthdays, Valentine's Day, New Year's Day, Anniversaries - these are all special couples days. Remember your first Valentine's Day? The first New Year you saw in together? A lot of care and attention was taken for each one of these unique days - but are the others starting to blend into each other? The first one together was special, so why not make the 6th, the 23rd, and all the others special too? Don't ever take an anniversary, or a holiday for granted! Celebrate!

  3. Look for flower opportunities. Do you only send her flowers for Valentine's Day and Anniversaries? First of all, take a moment to be proud of yourself for remembering special occasions. But why limit yourself? Wonder for a moment about all the other times you could send her flowers. Why not have flowers waiting for her in your hotel room next time you go away? Or if you're away on business for an extra long time, arrange for a special delivery to her office. If you've been working on a project that's been taking all your time and energy for weeks, bring her flowers to thank her for her patience and to celebrate the end of the project. Whether she just got a promotion, has had a difficult week, or finished writing the next, great American novel, flowers, flowers, and more flowers! Opportunities present themselves all the time. Take advantage!

  4. Ask her out on a date. Plan a special day or evening just for her. Dress up for each other. You used to do it all the time. Get out of those jeans for one night! Maybe this time you'll take her to her favorite place. Next time, to a new discovery. Perhaps you could go dancing afterwards, or see the sun set on the water. There are picnics, rowboats, amusement parks, and the ballet. Not everything will be your favorite thing to do, but this evening is just for her!

  5. Surprises are great fun. Do something out of the ordinary. Send her flowers because its Friday. Get her a little something just because. Pick up her favorite dessert (if she's not on a diet) or another treat she rarely gets. Mail her a romantic card. Leave her notes in unexpected places, like on the bathroom mirror or in a book she's reading. When one is being courted, delightful surprises seem to be around every corner. A surprise now and then brings back that wonderful feeling of being very special to someone you love.

  6. Be thoughtful. Make her feel cared about and protected. Something as simple as a new umbrella can be romantic if done right. If her umbrella breaks in a storm, buy her a new one and present the gift with a ribbon tied around it. If she's on a diet, make her a special meal with grilled shrimp and fresh fruit to help her when the going gets tough. Help each other relax with a much-needed massage. And realize that immediate reciprocity isn't always necessary! Sometimes it's great just to give, and sometimes it's great just to receive. The rewards are there in the doing. And, one more thing - massages are up there with flowers - they are never out of style!

  7. Play hooky and run away for a day. Call in sick, do what you have to do, and have a spontaneous, wicked day together! Let go and find out how playing hooky can bring out your wild side! Go to the beach, or an amusement park, or just stay in bed all day. There is nothing so freeing and so exciting as having stolen a little time together!

  8. Bring back atmosphere! Remember creating the right atmosphere for a seduction? All the care and attention that was put into the right lighting, the sensuous music and the perfect wine. Light candles for dinner. Put on some soft music. What else did you do to create a mood for the person you wanted more than anything to impress? Atmosphere can be very inspiring!

  9. Talk to each other. Share yourself. When you were first going out, you told each other all about who you are. There was a lot of information presented that may have been forgotten. And there is sure to be a surprising number of stories you've never heard before. It's amazing how much we don't know about those we see every day! Although I advise leaving out stories of past boyfriends and girlfriends! Pick a time in your life - tell her all about that 5th grade triumph. Find out about her childhood dreams and the time she wanted to be a famous ballerina. Something may even have happened last week that never got mentioned because the basic getting through the day didn't allow it. Talk about today, tomorrow, and yesterday - there are still mysteries about your partner there to be discovered.

  10. Try doing something you've never done before! When you were first dating, everything was a first for you as a couple. To find that feeling again, try something new. You don't have to go halfway around the world to go or do something new and different. Is there anything you've ever been curious about? Try it now! Take a dance class, volunteer at the ASPCA, go on a Ferris wheel, read a book together, get a tarot reading, bicycle ride, or just play catch! There's so much out there! Discover it together, whether its silly, profound, near, or far - new inputs keep a relationship vital!

These are just a few ideas to get you thinking about your courtship days and all the ways you can rediscover that romantic time. Start slowly and you'll begin receiving all the wonderful rewards to courting. You will never want to put romance and courtship on a backburner again!


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