The Invisible Woman

by Alicia L. Cervini

I am a woman. I am also a human being, and as such I am full of intricacies and contradictions and quirks and passions. Gentle and harsh, loud and quiet, selfish and giving, brilliant and stupid, interested and bored, caring and indifferent - these are all me, for better or for worse.

I am a woman, but I am the invisible woman, because the women I see in movies, and commercials, and television shows are not me. I don't relate to what these women want, how they feel, how they act, or why they do the things they do. They have only one dimension; not two or three or four or five. According to our culture, I must not exist, because I don't fit into any of the boxes marked "GIRL."

I am a woman. And I don't want to get married. I have trouble committing. I am not interested in the size of engagement rings, nor am I particularly interested in ever wearing one.

I am a woman. And I love sex. Not only that, but I'm VISUAL. That's right, men, you don't corner the market on being stimulated visually. I never have a headache.

I am a woman. And I hate "women's television." Television movies about victims and helplessness and meekness are not my cup of tea.

I am a woman. And tiny-waisted clothes don't fit me. I have big breasts and a big ass and a big waist to go along with them.

I am a woman. And I hate women's magazines. The 500th article about applying eye shadow is pretty much the same as the first.

I am a woman. And I am brilliant. I love to debate and I hate to lose. I never pretend not to know something that I do.

I am a woman. And I am ambitious. If I am not the best at what I'm doing, I strive to be until I am.

I am a woman. And I love video games. "Love" as in I could play for 24-hours straight. "Love" as in I got carpal tunnel syndrome from my joystick.

I am a woman. And I don't want to be taken care of. I like to take care of myself. I'll always have my own job, my own checkbook and my own friends.

I am a woman. And I am analytical, not emotional. I always try to draw my emotional battles onto the intellectual battleground.

I am a woman, and all these things are true. And yet, I love high-heeled shoes. I always ask my boyfriend "what are you thinking." I cry in the movies. I hate football. I like to cuddle. I don't like math. I always wear make-up. I love *N'Sync. I wear mini-skirts. I watch Home and Garden television. I like to embroider. I want to have children. I have long hair. I like to read my horoscope. I drink herbal teas. And it pisses me off when men leave the seat up.

Because I am a woman, but I am also a person and none of these things are contradictory unless you listen to what our culture tells you a woman is "supposed" to be. You don't have to be a femme fatale, a bitch, a mother, a wife, a virgin, a teacher, or a girl. Be all of them, be none of them, be some of them. Be what you are. Like what you like. You may be a woman, but you are also a person. Your gender is nothing but your sex; it doesn't define who you are.

I am a woman. The woman I am may not exist in our popular culture, but I am here. I may be invisible, but I am here. And so are you...whoever you are and whatever you matter what you see around you.


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